You Can't Take It With You

Recently, I've been busy stage managing a crazy insane cirrus show. And at first, it was just like every other show I have ever stage managed, just another show telling another silly story. Find the props. Make sure you have lights cues, sound cues, costumes, set pieces. Deal with the crazy needy actors. Typically stage management job.

Sometimes we get so caught up in life that we forgot to stop and take in everything thats happening around us.. For those of you how don't know, my father passed away on July 23rd, due to stage four cancer and respiratory complications. It's been tough, and a day doesn't go by that I don't think of him.

So your probably wondering how all this relates to stage managing. Well, its not about stage managing at all actually. Its about the show. But more importantly, as Jack Parkhurst would say "Its about the story."

You Can't Take It With You tells the story of a crazy family, who frankly do whatever well they please. The story is centered around a good daughter, who falls in love with a young co-worker. But sadly, there families are so different that they don't believe the relationship will never work out. The story focus on the girls grandfather, who believes that life is short to be bothered by silly affairs. He quits suddenly one day, and decides that he is going to spend his time doing whatever he wants. He goes to graduation ceremonies, zoos, and collects snakes in his free time. He doesn't pay income taxes, because he doesn't believe it them. He doses what he wants because life is short.

I think the best way to sum up grandfathers outlook on life is said in this quote:

Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: Maybe it'll stop you trying to be so desperate about making more money than you can ever use? You can't take it with you, Mr. Kirby. So what good is it? As near as I can see, the only thing you can take with you is the love of your friends.


It's funny how the things that we are doing in our daily lives, because they seem like "work", can relate so much to what is happening in our life around us. It's the first day of tech week, and I finally listening hard enough to realize that Grandpa is just like my father. In some ways, he is my dad.

My Dad stopped working years ago, and did the bare minimum at his office, because he had a life to live. My dad always had something going on up his sleeve. Baseball games. Football games. Sporting events of all sizes. Seeing plays. Traveling. Spending time with friends. He did what he wanted too because it made him happy.

My Dad always told me "Money doesn't matter"... I said I wanted to go to Paris because it was my dream. Regardless of how much it cost, my Dad simply wrote a check and sent me on my way. I wanted to go to a Husker game because I felt like it was part of the college experience. My dad spent a whole year working to find me tickets. I told him it wasn't important enough to worry so much about, but he didn't give up. And myself and four friends, happily went to the game. My brother wanted to go the World Series, and he did.

That was Dad. I always thought he was crazy. "Money doesn't matter". Thats crazy. Of course it matters! But you know what, if this play has taught me anything... its that my dad was 100% right. Money doesn't matter. It wasn't about the money to my dad. It was about the experiences that my dad gave up..

And Grandpa was right too. You can't take it with you. My Dad died and his money was left behind to my brother and I. My Dad didn't pay medical bills or such, because he didn't want too. He gave every cent and dim he earned to my brother and I. He could of paid off bills, but instead he bought us nice cars, and great educations. And you know what, its not about the cars or trips or money. Its about the experiences that we've gained for them. Because, one day, we are all going to die, and we won't be able to take the money or cars with us. But, we will be able to take the memories.

My Dad spent his last six months living off a feeding tube, and never say a day without pain. But he still lived his life. Just a few days before he passed, he was outside mowing the lawn. Because he liked it. I visited him the month prior, and he was outside sitting around laughing with friends. Because thats what he enjoyed. And when he did die, he didn't take the money or physical things with him. But I do know that my dad took a lot of GREAT memories, and a life lived EVERY DAY to its fullest.

More people showed up to my dads funeral then any other church service that town had seen in 25 years. People I never meet. Friends that I or my dad haven't seen in years. My dad told my grandparents that he wanted his funeral dinner to be at a small pizza shack by the church. Nobody understood. Why wouldn't he want it at the country club or someplace nice? ... My dad told my grandparents that it was because he had friends who couldn't drive and he wanted everybody who wanted to be there, to have a fair chance to be there..... Because, he know that it wasn't about the food or nice restaurants. It was about the memories. And those people who couldn't drive, had a smile on there face. They won't get to take the food or drinks with them. But they sure as hell, will take the memories, love, and compassion my father showed them.


I really hope my ramblings, makes you stand back and really look at life. We get so focused on things that we believe we should do, and work, instead of doing what truly makes us happy. And sometimes we forgot that in the end... You Can't Take It With You.

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