Blog D. 8.48

Well. the title for this blog is ironic today. So school was ok. I offical pulled out of the french trip...and then of course, erik started telling everyone that it was because i didnt have the money to pay for it..which soooo pissed me off. i mean, dont get me wrong, i feel bad that its canceled now...but it just wasn't worth it. selfishness. anyways. i had dance today. AH! so anyways. i had practice early for ballet because our recital is this weekend. and we got our customs...and they look sooo pretty...that is on everyone else but me. mine makes me look pregnant. and then we had tap...which was fine. EXCPET OMG MY CUSTOM!. its not really tooo small but omg. it makes me look so freakin' fat....and everyone else's look fine..but mine just makes me feel gross and stuff. so i guess i am going to have to do some major working out before saturday. anyways and then we had ballet....and well, victoria's party is on friday and it starts an 1 hour before dress reherseal is over. so i thought i could leave like 30 mins early.. i mean I BEEN TO EVERY CLASS. i missed like once... i think. so anyways. maria FREAKED out on my when i told her...cause we still have to learn the final number.. so i am going to miss like half of the party and i feel soooo bad cause victora's doesnt even wanna have the party...so im kinda having to take over the whole thing for her... AND THEN we need tights for the show..and i dont have the right kind...so i said something about just getting the cheap ones at CVS...well she freaked. so idk. I HATE IT... I am soooo fed up with this dancing stuff.... i mean, what is this all for? so i can make myself look like an idiot on stage cause i am not as good as everyone else...cause everyone else looks better and because i get confused easily when they change it every five seconds... so i feelt even more like an idiot because i came home crying and i never cry...or at least not in front of other people or my family...not bad tears. so yeahhh... i am a mess. my day was a mess. and ahhhh.... so yeah. blog d. is a good tittle. because d is for dont dance people..dont. i thought i loved it... but this isnt it....its just not for me...anyways. science final tomorrow...plus i need to call someone cause i need to vent on someone...love ya Rachel <3.